People can hurt us in many ways both physically and emotionally, however sometimes it is the emotional pain that is harder to get over. The reason why we remember when people are nasty to us and forget the compliments is because of emotion. We attach a strong emotion of hurt and this anchors it in our memory. We then re-enforce this strong anchor by playing the scene over and over in our mind each time attaching strong emotion to it. We literally “feel” the pain because we use strong emotions to replay it.
Next time someone is nasty to you try not to attach a strong feeling to it, imagine their words running off you like raindrops when you are caught in a shower you will be dry in five minutes when the sun comes out. If you find yourself playing it over in your mind, deliberately distort the memory Change it from colour to black & white. Make the image blurry. If you hear a voice change it to a ridiculous squeaky cartoon voice. Next time you recall the incident it will seem silly.
Likewise if you get a compliment no matter how small try to attach a strong emotion like love to it, appreciate it you will be amazed what this will do to your self-esteem and confidence.
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