You need to realise that forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person anyway. You have no power over how they feel unless they give you that power. It is you that is holding the resentment and you that it is hurting.
Just because you forgive someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to ever see the person again or communicate with them in anyway. Especially if seeing them puts you in danger of being hurt again.
When you hold resentment in your heart about a particular event in your life you are creating an anchor that drags you back time and time again, replaying the hurt and the pain. It is stopping you developing onto the next stage in your life. Because your emotions are anchored to that one person or event.
Forgiving , means you want to let go of the toxic energy of anger, hurt and resentment and instead feel peace, calm and relaxation. At first you may miss the turmoil and circling thoughts and try to relive the pain. If this happens try to catch yourself and re-affirm “I forgive, I have let this go”
You may wonder how do I forgive? Especially when something hurts so badly or seems so downright unfair – The truth of forgiveness is that our ego is hurt and wants to be right. You are choosing to hold on and keep the argument or the pain going.
It maybe that you feel you need to learn the lesson and holding on helps to remember the pain and therefore never repeat it again. It may be you want to punish the other person, or keep the pain alive for the sake of drama or to be a martyr, or to get justice, or to be right!
While all these excuses may allow you to justify it they will never allow you to cut the anchor chain and move on with your life.
All you need to do to forgive is to recognise that you want peace in your life instead of turmoil. Accept that you have been holding on to the pain and decide to forgive yourself first.
Acknowledge that how you have dealt with the situation in the past has been hurting you and holding you back and then make a decision to let go of the grievance.
This will free You. Chances are the other person has a completely different take on the situation anyway so no matter what you decide it will have no affect on them anyway.
If you need help, you could try my video it will allow you to release the pain of the event so you can get on with your life.
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