It’s not healthy to try to please everyone, below are a few suggestions to stop you trying.
Seeking approval from others is perfectly fine up until the point where you are compromising your health and happiness in the process. It becomes a serious problem if you feel as though widespread positive approval from others defines who you are.
Constant approval-seeking forces you to miss out on the beauty of simply being yourself, with your own unique ideas and desires.
So how can you stop fearing what everyone thinks of you?
1. Get comfortable with not knowing what other people think.
Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.
How people perceive you may have more to do with them than you anyway. They may even like or dislike you simply because you’ve triggered an association in their minds by reminding them of someone they liked or disliked from their past, which has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you know what they are thinking. YOU ARE NOT A MIND READER !!!!!
2. Know that most people are NOT thinking about you anyway.
Someone once said, “We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”
Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you anyway. They are probably to wrapped up with their own inner fears and insecurities, possibly worrying about what people think of them to be thinking about you. It’s you judging yourself that’s the problem.
3. Accept that someone else’s opinion is none of your business.
How many times have you looked at a person and initially misjudged them? First impressions are important but they rarely are a true reflection of the person. Even if they get the basic gist of who you are, they’re still missing a big piece of the puzzle. What someone thinks of you will
rarely contain the whole truth, which is fine.
The opinions other people have about you is their problem, not yours. The less you worry about what they think of you, the less complicated your life becomes.
4. Ask yourself, “Does what they think even matter?”
People will think what they want to think. No matter how carefully you choose your words and mannerisms, there’s always a good chance they’ll be misinterpreted and twisted upside down by someone. Does this really matter in the grand scheme of things? No, it doesn’t.
How others see you is not important. How you see yourself means the world. When you’re making big decisions, remember, what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what people think of you. Stay true to YOU. Never be ashamed of doing what feels right. Decide what you think is right and stick to it.
5. See the benefit in being unique.
It’s human nature to attempt to mimic other humans, to try to fit in. But attempting to be someone else will always leave us feeling empty inside. Why? Because what we appreciate about the people we admire is their individuality – the qualities that make them unique. We need to develop our own individuality, and in that way, we would actually be less like them and more like our true selves.
6. Be fully present and aware of how you DO want to feel.
Work out how you DO want to feel right now in the present moment. Train yourself to live right here, right now without regretting how others once made you feel, or fearing the possibility of future judgment.
7. Speak and live your truth.
Speak your truth even if your voice shakes. Be cordial and reasonable, of course, but don’t tread carefully on every word you say. Push your concerns of what others might think aside. Let the consequences of doing so unravel naturally.
What you’ll find is that most of the time no one will be offended or irritated at all. And if they do get upset, it’s likely only because you’ve started behaving in a way that makes them feel they have less power over you.
Think about it. Why be fake?
In the end, the truth usually comes out one way or the other, and when that happens, you’re standing alone if you’ve been living a lie. So live your whole truth starting now. If someone gives you a hard time and says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not a bad thing. It just means you stopped living your life their way. Don’t apologize for it.
Finally Remember “Nobody is Perfect, not even a Perfect stranger”
Regards
Jason J Scoltock